Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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