Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
