So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
