wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need moral support for this bender
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
