Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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