porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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