Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude i'm inner monologue high
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
