Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I did not marry a roomba.
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