Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
