worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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