were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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