she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
