she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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