Well apparently he's into motor boating.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
