The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize