his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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