hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Your cock deserves a montage
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
