Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
