We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
