I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
