We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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