she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
