she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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