my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
