it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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