Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
