My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
