I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
