he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
