she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
