Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize