either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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