we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
