Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I want her autograph on my taint
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
