oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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