Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
