that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
