im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
