if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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