That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
