Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
