glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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