we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this boner is exhausting
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
