oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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