every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
