I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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