Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
