My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize