your room smells of hookers.
And success
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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