So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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