oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
