Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
