You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
accomplished twins. life is a go
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
my liver is dry heaving
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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