he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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