Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
