Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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