He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
