your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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