Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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