Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize