the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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