i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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