Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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