5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
