Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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